Chasing an Illusion in My Heart

The following is a post from the blog, A Girl Like Me ( I have posted the link at the bottom of this post).  The Lord knows exactly what I need when I need it.  It's crazy!  Over the past week I have been critically analyzing my heart, my desires, my motivations and idols in my life.  As I realize more and more about my heart, I realize there are idols there that I have not wanted to admit to myself, let alone any one else.  Reading this brought to light that some things in my life aren't just desires, but idols. This post revealed yet again that God wants my heart, my WHOLE heart. Not a piece. Not a second thought.  He wants it ALL.  I cohose to focus on Him above these desires.  I choose to lay them at His feet and trust that He knows best.  I choose to be joyful no matter the situation. I choose to put Jesus over myself.

THE VERY THING I DESIRE - A Girl Like Me Blog

"Hey.  Come sit across from me.  Grab a cup of coffee or a peppermint tea and pretend to look me in the eyes.  Let’s talk.  Lets get real shall we.  Let’s look into the depths of our hearts and pull out the crutches that we are hiding and the sin we are pretending isn’t there.  You see, I haven’t been real with myself lately and thought, just maybe, you were in the same boat.

I may need this more than you.  A time of confession you could say.  A time to be real with you because I’m just now realizing that there is an Idol in my heart that I didn’t want to admit was there.  This idol proves that I am fully capable of being selfish, narcissistic and so consumed with my daily crap.  I consistently think about me, feel sorry for myself, and drown myself in a sea of self pity.  I have let it consume me and keep me from compassion and love towards others.  I didn’t think there was anything wrong with the way I was thinking or feeling until I read the definition of an Idol according to Tim Keller.

He says this, ” It is ANYTHING more important to you than God, ANYTHING that absorbs your heart and imagination more than God, ANYTHING you seek to give you what only God can give.  A counterfeit god is anything so essential to your life that, should you lose it, your life would feel hardly worth living.  An idol has such a controlling position in your heart that you can spend most of your passion and energy on it without a second thought.  It can be the way you look, how much money you have, getting a romantic relationship, how smart you are, approval from other people, your morality and virtue, or even success in a Christian ministry.  An Idol is whatever you look at and say, in your heart of hearts, – ‘ If I have that, then I’ll feel my life has meaning, then I’ll know I have value, then I’ll feel significant and secure.”  Phew.  Convicted yet?  I am...

The very last statement to the whole book of 1 John is ” Little children, keep yourselves from idols.”  Why does it end this way?  When you read prior to that it says- ” And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask ANYTHING according to HIS WILL He hears us!!  And if we know that He hears us in whatever we ask, we know that we have the requests that we have asked of Him.  … And we know that the Son of God has come and has given us understanding, so that we may know Him who is true; and we are in Him who is true, in His Son Jesus Christ.  He is the true God and eternal life… therefore- keep yourselves from idols!”  Idols lie to you!  They tell you that you won’t be happy unless you have this certain thing.  They tell you that your life utterly depends on it.  They tell you that you are most important in this life.  However, God is truth!  We belong to God so we belong to truth!  Not lies…. We are in Him!   It is not about me, It is not about whether or not I get the desires of my heart. This whole thing we are living is about God and knowing God.  God is the very thing our heart searches for and longs for and the only thing that will completely satisfy us.  In His presence are Joys evermore.  And when we realize that and we turn our eyes from the lies to the truth we will see Him and see others.  Our thoughts will turn off of ourselves and onto the One who can give eternal life.

Romans 12:15 says this- ” Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.”  This one sentence sums up so much of community and the focus of others.  When we have an idol residing in our life we cannot honestly rejoice with those who rejoice and cry with those who cry.  Idols keep us with our hands tied up disabling us from serving others whole heartedly.  It keeps us in a pit of disappointment rather than pointing us towards hope in knowing our God hears our prayers.  I am ashamed at the way I have acted towards certain friends who got the very thing I wanted and I didn’t.  If I could go back I would have rejoiced in their gladness.  I would have hugged them rather than allow the anxiety to build.   I would have cheered them on and trusted that God knows my heart and He is the very thing I long for and have already received.

Ok.. take a sip of your coffee and take a deep breath and look into your heart of hearts- Is there anything more important to you than God right now?  Is there something you are seeking to get value and acceptance from that isn’t God?  Is there something in your life.. that if you were to lose it your life would feel unworthy of living?  Is there anything, if you were to gain it, that you would feel significant and worth something?  I know these can be hard questions to ask.  And believe me… we don’t want to answer them.  You could do what I did and just pass over this going on with your life and letting it be.  That would be the easy thing to do.  But I am here to tell you that God loves you too much to let you get away with that.  And sooner or later He will always bring your Idols to light and you will have a choice to do something about it or just pretend that it’s no big deal.  I urge you to dig out the things that are consuming your thoughts and replacing God in your life and confess them before the Lord.  Allow Him to remove these idols and I promise you – You will find what you are truly looking for."

http://agirlikeme.com/2013/01/29/the-very-thing-i-desire/

Emptiness being overcome

God always knows what is going on with me, especially when I don't...  I've been struggling recently believing a lot of lies about myself, my inadequacy, and certain things within friendships.  I feel completely empty.  Throughout this I haven't been able to clearly hear God's heart for me or any of the struggles so today I picked up my Jesus Calling devotional in hopes that God would speak clearly to me through it.

"Let Me bless you with My grace and peace.  Open your heart and mind to receive all that I have for you.  Do not be ashamed of your emptiness.  Instead, view it as the optimal condition for being filled with My peace. 
It is easy to touch up your outward appearance, to look as if you have it all together.  Your attempts to look good can fool most people.  But I see straight through you, into the depths of your being.  There is no place for pretense in your relationship with Me.  Rejoice in the relief of being fully understood.  Talk with Me about your struggles and feelings of inadequacy.  Little by little, I will transform your weaknesses into strengths.  Remember that your relationship with Me is saturated in grace.  Therefore, nothing that you do or don't do can seperate you from my presence."

Just as I can feel myself retreating,  pushing people away and feeling like I am doing this alone, the Lord reminds me nothing can seperate me from His presence.  I am never alone.

Desperate Hunger

On November 8th, I gave a talk at homegroup about hungering for the presence of the Lord and what would it look like if sought the Lord with abandoned hearts.  After hearing Ray Muenich talk about this same topic at church today I wanted to go back through my notes from the talk I gave, I just thought I would share what the Lord put on my heart and has been revealing to me::::

"As we are coming closer to the end of the semester, I want to kind of wrap up this series of teaching about the Holy Spirit with talking about a hunger for the Spirit and what it might look like for us personally and for the community if we were to fully surrender to the Holy Spirit.  Through out my talk, I am going to refer quite a bit to a book by Rhonda Hughey called Desperate for His Presence. 

One of the questions I have heard recently in regards to church is, “what are people longing for?”  Hughey has a great response to this questions saying, “I believe it’s the presence of God in the midst of people, the manifestation of His nearness, and an awareness of His love that is both real and relevant.  We desperately need the tangible presence of Jesus both in the church and in our communities.” 

God is looking for people with a heart like David, who declared in Psalm 27:4 “One things I have desired of the Lord, that will I seek that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold the beauty of the Lord, and to seek Him in His temple.”   What the Lord desires for His children, is them to be desperate for the Holy Spirit, His presence to move beyond convenience and personal comfort and seek Him with all they have. 

“An initial honeymoon and thirst often comes with the gift of salvation, but after the spiritual honeymoon is over, we must intentionally cultivate our spiritual passion” and seek to know God’s heart more by listening for the Holy Spirit.  We have to ask the Lord to stir His Spirit inside of us to create a hunger for Him.  Desperate hunger for the Lord is the currency of heaven.  Hunger is what causes us to empty ourselves of compromise and creates a holy dissatisfaction that drives us to our knees and makes us depend on God.  This hunger and desire for God is not something that we can stir in ourselves, but we need to ask God everyday to put a desire in our souls to be more filled with the Holy Spirit.  We cannot be hungry for God if we are being satisfied with other things.  I feel like we, as a whole church, nibble on junk food that the world places in front of us, causing the church to lose her appetite for God.  We don’t even feel the pain of hunger for Him; we are starving for lack of His presence without even knowing it.  In order to make room for Him in our lives, we must empty our hearts and set aside our own agendas.  Before we can be filled, we must be emptied.  He Lord promises that those who hunger and thirst after righteousness shall be filled.  We need to ask the Lord to cause a fresh hunger and thirst to overtake us.  He will give us as much of himself as we ask for.  Many of us, myself included,  say that we hunger for the Lord, but are we really?  People who are desperately hungry will do almost anything to satisfy their hunger.  Those who are willing to move out of their normal routine and circumstances to seek the presence of God will not be disappointed.  

So what happens when we let the Holy Spirit take over? 

When Jesus began His public ministry, He announced His purpose by quoting Isaiah 61:1-2, “The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed Me to preach the gospel to the poor; He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed; to proclaim the acceptable year of the Lord.”  Wherever Jesus went, the blind were healed, the demons were terrified, the lame walked, and the demonically oppressed were set free.  Huge crowds followed Him, listening, watching, and waiting to see what He would do.  When Jesus stepped foot in a community, things were changed.  The ministry of the Holy Spirit hasn’t changed, when invited into a community, He brings life and powerful transformation. 

I can’t help think about the early church as it is described in Acts.  In the book of Acts the believers lived lives of simplicity, yet they had great authority, power and victory over the enemy.  Their ministry was effective.  They did not have complicated strategies or programs; they had the authority of Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit.  Their lives had been turned upside down because of their encounters with Jesus.  They loved Him and completely abandoned themselves to serving his Kingdom with power and they impacted their cities along the way. 

I read a story of Almolonga, Guatemala, which is a powerful testimony of God’s transforming power.  When the Holy Spirit was welcomed into this community, not only was the church impacted, but every sphere of society as well.  George Otis Jr wrote about it is his book Informed Intercession:  “The town of Almolonga was typical of Mayan communities, plagued with addiction to alcohol, idolatry and poverty stricken.  The people who were full of fear and seeking relief from their poverty looked for support in alcohol and a local idol named Maximon.  Tired of living under the influence of idolatry, a group of believers began crying out to God during evening prayer vigils beginning in August 1974.  They gathered together in unity and declared freedom over their community.  They resisted the enemy in their midst and the devastating consequences of his presence among them.  In the months that followed many people were delivered by the power of God!  God began to respond to their faith and prayer, delivering many who were demonically oppressed and physically afflicted.  As a result, many committed their lives to Christ.  After the Holy Spirit began to visit the land, an unprecedented revival occurred.  Families were touched and transformed by the power of God.  Miracles and healing and deliverance have caused the city to be called both the “City of Miracles” and the “City of God.”  Today more than 90 percent of the people in the community have become evangelical Christians, and there are nearly two dozen evangelical churches.  The life of the community, the families, agriculture, businesses, center around the life of the church.   Local people refer to their community in terms of two time frame: before the power of God came and after.   The last jail closed in Almolonga ten years ago.  Imagine children are growing up without any concept of crime or violence in their community!..... The most amazing indication of the transformation of the community is that the glory of God is evident in the lives of the people.  Familes are restored and more- their smiles, the obvious joy and peace that saturated the city is hard to describe.  This is truly a place where the heavens are open and Jesus is being glorified in every aspect of life. "

After reading this story and several others like it, I can’t help but ask, why not here?  Why not now? Why not us? 

So why do we often hesitate to invite the Holy Spirit in?  The Lord wants to be known by us, He wants to be known through the Holy Spirit working in our lives.  Our purpose is not only to be saved from our sins and their eternal consequences.  Our purpose is also about pursuing God with an abandoned heart and discovering His limitless beauty and glory.  We tend to settle for a token of God’s presence when He wants us to experience the fullness of His presence through His Holy Spirit.  We need to ask the Holy Spirit to continue to reveal himself to us, increase our appetite and transform our hearts to become more like Jesus.

"For you are what I want.  For I have called you to love me with all of your heart, because I love you with all of My heart and all of My mind!"- says the Lord

Things Are Not Okay Right Now

"There is coming a day when the Bridegroom is taken away


And in that day they will mourn; in that day they will fast



Things as they are are not okay


When Someone is missing, Someone is absent



I'll stay here and mourn for You,

I'll stay here and fast for You


I'll stay here and watch for You,

I'll stay here and wait for You



Things are not okay right now, things are not okay right now


Things are not okay right now, things are not okay right now



And they won't be till You come back


And they won't be till You come back



I will embrace the ache of a lovesick heart


I will embrace the ache of a lovesick heart"- John Thurlow, Mourning for the Bridegroom

I know this song is about eagerly awaiting Jesus’ return, but listening to these words broke my heart for people who do not know Jesus.  I really felt like Jesus was saying to me “Things are not ok… So many of my children are missing, they are absent, and that is not ok!  Fight for them!”  I strongly felt Him leading me to mourn over their absence.  Fast for them and contend for them through prayer.  I am not faithful in fasting, but I know that I need to start fasting regularly and praying for hearts to return to Jesus.  While listening to this song, the Lord really shared His heart for the lost with me. 

I also became overwhelmed with the desire to just be with Jesus, face to face with my Love!  Nothing in this world can satisfy my deepest desires, so things will not be ok until He returns for His bride.  I truly want to “embrace the ache of a lovesick heart”, a heart that eagerly awaits to be wrapped in His arms.  Lord I ask for the desire to fast and pray more for your return.  I want to watch diligently and wait for You to move in this world! Lord I want others to experience Your presence and love!  Lord draw Your children close to You and soften their hearts!! Lord I ask you to give me the courage and boldness to reach out to those around me.  Let Your love shine through me.  Lord, I need you to increase in me and decrease myself because I am weak and timid.  I do not have the courage to share my faith openly a lot of times, which honestly I think is ridiculous because Jesus is why I live.  Lord, I need you to break me from that and give me the words to say.  Help me reach out to those that you so dearly desire to know Your love!  This world needs You Jesus, come and overtake us with Your unfailing love! Things will not be okay until Your love consumes this world!

Walking Hand In Hand

I am soo thankful for A LOT and not just because it is Thanksgiving, but because I am Christ's BELOVED! This year I decided to stay at my house in College Station, which means it has been a quiet holiday (when I haven't been on the phone with family!).  After being around my house all day, I decided to go for a walk before it got dark out.  As I was walking through Central Park, I just asked Jesus to come and walk with me and show me something new about himself. As I was walking the song Closer, by Stefany Frizzell- Gretzinger came on my Ipod.  This is one of my favorite songs possibly ever.  As I was listening to the words: 
Your love has ravished my heart
And taken me over, taken me over
And all I want is to be
With You forever, with You forever

Pull me a little closer
Take me a little deeper
I want to know Your heart
I want to know Your heart
‘Cause Your love is so much sweeter
Than anything I’ve tasted
I want to know Your heart
I want to know Your heart

In that moment, I desired to know God's heart so much!  I think I can honestly say I wanted nothing more at that moment than to know Him, the Lover of my soul!  I continued walking, just basking in the glory that He was revealing to me!  He was showing me how much I truly love Him and how Jesus really is everything to me.  I felt Jesus romancing me so sweetly!

  By this point the sun was starting to set so I was going to head home but as I got close to the gate, I had the urge to keep walking toward an intersection that I pass daily, but never really walk there.  At this corner is a large open field,  toward the back of that land there are tons of trees that separates this land from the park.  As I was walking that way with no destination in mind, I asked the Lord to tell what is on His heart.  As I turned a corner, I noticed that some of the trees toward the back of the land had red leaves! RED LEAVES!  I know this may seem silly to anyone reading this, but I love fall! Everything about fall, especially when the leaves change! Leaves changing to bright reds, oranges, yellows, etc is one of my favorite things, its just so beautiful.  When I moved to Texas, a couple of friends informed me that the leaves here don't really change colors except brown, I was heart broken.  Sadly, I'm not exaggerating, my friends said that at that point they had never seen me look so disappointed before.  Anyways.... Not only did was I gazing at red leaves, but the sun was setting so it was huge and a brilliant red.  The way the sunlight hit those trees was breathtaking!  It looked like this row of trees was on fire, I have not seen that since I left Chicago.  I could do nothing else besides praise God, He knows my heart so well  Within a couple minutes of standing there in awe, the sun was almost set and it no longer shone on the trees like it was when I first got to that point.  Jesus orchestrated that perfectly! If it was a couple minutes earlier or later, I would not have seen the beauty that I miss so much!  As I walked home, the song Obsession by Jesus Culture came on and as I was listening to it, I so sweetly and gently heard Jesus saying, "You asked to know my heart, it burns for you!  I am obsessed with you and my heart burns with a deep passion for you!"  How incredible!  I am so overwhelmed right now I don't even know how to express the love that He has given me!  He has ravished my heart and filled me more than I ever thought possible!

Recently, I have been praying and processing through what it truly means to take on the identity of Christ's Beloved.  What would our lives look like if we truly took on that identity and lived it out.  A heart so madly in love with Jesus that all else fades into the background! How amazing would that be!  I feel like Jesus is slowly and gently teaching me who His Beloved is and how to find my identity solely in Him.  Jesus is so sweet!

Nurturing Hearts

Below is another article that I came across that spoke so sweetly into my desire and pursuit to becoming more of a godly woman.  Over the past two/three years, it has been strongly on my heart to truly become a woman of God and striving, in a way, to live a life described in Proverbs 31.  I have a lot to learn about what it looks like to be feminine to the core while  being able to display strength and courage within that. My desire is to be a woman that builds people up and encourages them, lets them know that they are Loved.  I want to nurture people's hearts and give them life through my words.  The Lord is patient with me and so sweet to reveal what true beauty within His beloved, His daughter look likes.    I just thought I would share this article.  I pray that the Lord speaks tenderly to your heart as well.

http://theresurgence.com/2012/11/02/4-ways-a-womans-words-can-give-life

Amanda Edmondson

"Whether or not you have ever birthed a baby, by God’s design all women are created to be life givers. God gave us a capacity in our bodies and in our spirits to give life, to nurture, to encourage, and to comfort with our words.

Here are four ways our words give life.

1. LISTENING

It’s a skill to know when to speak and when not to speak. Wives, are you taking time to listen to your husband when he comes home or are you quick to tell him all about your day and which child did what? Ladies, are you taking time to listen to your co-worker who’s had a rough week? We give life when we listen because it shows other people that we care for them and that we are willing to do life with them.

You won’t know how to begin giving life with your words if you aren’t listening to what people are saying.

“My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

James 1:19 (NIV)

2. ENCOURAGING

Our words can give life or death. A bad word divides, deceives, and destroys:

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits.”

Proverbs 18:21

We fail to encourage others when we gossip. When you hear news that someone is dating someone else, do you feel the urge to run to your small group and tell everyone? Or when you hear bad news about someone else, do you find that you need to “process” it with other women? What are your motives in running to tell someone else?

If you have a hard time determining if something is gossip, ask yourself: Is this helpful for building others up according to their needs? Does it benefit those who are listening (Eph. 4:29)? We give life when we point people to the Lord with our words.

From our relationship with God, our heart overflows with words, as David’s did in Psalm 19:14:

“Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O LORD.”

We should desire for our words to be pleasing in the sight of the Lord. Not to capture the attention of those around us or to be the person in the know, but to speak words of life that point to Christ. When our lives aren’t found in Christ, our words aren’t rooted in the Lord but in Satan. Our struggle to give life with our words is a struggle of our hearts.

3. REBUKING

We aren’t giving life if we aren’t willing to love someone with a godly rebuke. Don’t sit in silence. Hate sin and fight for the purity of the community around you in light of eternity.

When rebuking someone, first we have to identify if the person is really in sin. We do this by going to Scripture and comparing our friend’s actions to what the Bible says.

Then, we pray for wisdom and grace, and for the power to speak in love. Pray for the one you are rebuking. Pray for a conviction of sin, that they would leave your conversation desiring to be more like Christ and seek repentance.

4. PRAISING

We are quick to give attention and praise to how others dress. Yet we are slow to give praise and honor to people for something they’ve done. Aren’t people more valuable than a cute outfit? We get to celebrate with one another and to celebrate each other. We give life by praising people: we give them honor and we affirm the work that the Lord is doing in them.

As women, we can live out the call to be life givers at any point in our life regardless of our marital status, number of children, or grandchildren. Be a woman who gives life to those around you in your homes, work places, and churches."

Above All Else, Guard Your Heart

I just finished reading the following article. I have heard all of this before.  This article wasn't anything ground breaking for me, however, it was definitely a good reminder that God is in control and His plans are so much greater than I can even dream of for myself.  I thought this was worth sharing!

http://theresurgence.com/2012/03/19/for-the-gals-8-principles-for-dating

"I recently came across a 20-year-old photo of Phil and me when we were dating. I started thinking about how very little I knew about relationships, men, and marriage then.

Formulating a list of what I would tell myself back then, my advice began with a stern warning to stay away from any man with a mullet . . . but then again, it was the ’90s—every man had a mullet!

On a more serious note, these are eight principles that would have taken much confusion and heartbreak out of those tumultuous dating years. I hope they help you:

1. REPEAT AFTER ME: “YOU ARE LOVED.” 

I am not kidding. Repeat. After. Me. Out loud, often, with conviction. These are such simple words to say, but they have the most deep and resounding impact on our souls if we would just believe.

God says to his daughters in Jeremiah: "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you." Until you have tasted God’s eternal, steadfast, redeeming love, hold off on looking for a man. You may just end up settling for a quick love that cannot fill your core heart’s longing. Even if you are not currently being pursued by a man, you are constantly being pursued by Jesus.

2. YOU ARE LESS BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU THINK AND MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN YOU BELIEVE.

Our sin makes us ugly. No amount of makeup, clothing, or confident, flirtatious façade can change that fact. It takes a humble, redeemed woman changed by God to admit the ugliness of her sin and rest in her beauty in Christ. We must repent of our pride, our shame, our obsession with our looks. We must believe and embrace who God made us to be: beautiful in his image.

True beauty emanates from a woman who boldly and unabashedly knows who she is in Christ.

3. CONSIDER WHAT CONTROLS YOU.

Is it fear, loneliness, demand for a man, seeking approval, career, money?

Let the love of Christ control you. Pay attention to what is controlling your heart as you wait for a date, are in a dating relationship, or even into marriage. We settle for lesser gods than the one who died for us and love us unconditionally.

“For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who might live no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.” 2 Corinthians 5:14–15

4. ADDRESS YOUR DADDY ISSUES.

Most of us have them—wounds on our hearts from our earthly fathers and their shortcomings. Whether yours was absent and uninvolved or abusive and abandoning, don’t let him define who you believe your heavenly Father to be. Even if you have a godly and protective father, he is not God.

You are not looking for a dad-duplicate or a dad-replacement in a man. You have a perfect heavenly Father.

Let Scripture reveal to you who God is as Dad and what kind of care he gives his daughters.

"If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will the heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask him!" Luke 11:13

5. CHARM AND BEAUTY ARE NOT A GOOD DATING PLAN.

"Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,
but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Proverbs 31:30

Often, our grand scheme for how to snag a date goes only skin-deep. We put massive pressure on ourselves to pour on the charm and look cute wherever we go, not realizing that a godly man will also be concerned about inner beauty. God certainly is.

"But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious." 1 Peter 3:4

A woman who fears the Lord is one who, despite her desire for a date, fears being far away from God more than she does missing out on a man who is easily fooled by her exterior.

6. REALIZE YOU ARE ALREADY SUBMITTING—OR ARE YOU?

Submission is not only for wives. God asks for a submitted heart now, one that trusts in his provision and plan for your life, including dating. Ultimately, dating, and all of life, is about submission—waiting and trusting God and saying as Jesus does, “Not my will but yours be done.”

This does not, however, leave you helpless, hopeless, and hamstrung in the relationship department. A godly woman can express friendly interest in a brother in Christ. 

• It is OK to mingle—but don’t manipulate.
• Peruse—but don’t pursue. Let him initiate.
• Take notice of the godly men serving Jesus around you—but never stalk. It’s creepy.
• Cross paths with a man who interests you—but don’t tackle him.

7. DRESS TO KILL . . .

. . . your evil desires and his. We all know what it’s like to be noticed for what we wear. Your desire to draw attention to yourself is vanity. Do not falsely advertise what is not available to anyone but your future husband. Don’t open the door for men to make assumptions about you by what you wear. Help your brothers in Christ by dressing modestly and appropriately (and by all means, neatly, cleanly, and fashionably!) Check your heart for your motives when you dress.

8. GUARD YOUR HEART.

Guarding one’s heart is still an issue even if no one is overtly vying for it.  Watch out for the “might be” snare, as in, "He 'might be' flirting with me and so I’m going to get carried away thinking about every possible place [read: marriage] that could lead."

It is entirely possible to honor God, yourself, and a brother in Christ on a date. Don’t elevate him or the relationship to the place that God alone should hold in your heart. Enjoy, don’t idolize . . . and for goodness sake, relax! A cup of coffee does not necessarily mean a diamond ring is soon to follow.

As a single woman, give your heart fully, wholly, unabashedly, and devotedly to Christ alone.

Be active, vigilant, and careful about how much of your heart you give to a man. Be able to walk away from a dating relationship with your whole heart intact so that your future husband is not robbed of part of it down the road. Prayerfully consider what, when, how much to give away.

"Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it." Proverbs 4:23 (NIV)"